At Bethesda Gardens Loveland, our memory care staff is highly trained to care for residents with memory disorders. As a family member, you might not have as much experience with memory loss, which can make interactions with your loved one challenging. Communication can be particularly difficult when you're talking to someone with memory loss. Whether your loved one has Alzheimer's, dementia or another type of memory loss, these communication tips can make your interactions more meaningful.
You set the tone for every interaction with your loved one. If you go into the conversation worried about whether they'll be able to communicate well, they might pick up on those negative feelings. This can make the conversation tense or difficult. Approach each conversation with an upbeat attitude to help your loved one feel the same.
The TV running in the background or lots of activity around you can distract someone who has a memory disorder. They might have more difficulty following the conversation or processing what you're saying. When you want to have a meaningful conversation with them, find a quiet spot without lots of distractions. If that's not possible at the moment, consider waiting to have an important conversation until you can be in a distraction-free environment.
Once you're in a distraction-free place, connect with the person before you start to communicate. Make sure you have their attention and maintain eye contact with them while you talk. If you're close with the person, you might hold their hand while you talk as reassurance and as a way to connect. Paying close attention to them can also help you pick up on nonverbal cues that can help you figure out what they're trying to say.
Slowing down what you say makes it easier for your loved one to process the words. Use short, simple sentences and say them slowly. Give your loved one plenty of time to answer. It's tempting to fill the pauses or try to speak for them. However, this can feel frustrating to someone with a memory disorder. Stay calm and let them get out their thoughts without interrupting them to have an authentic conversation and keep your relationship with them positive.
During some interactions, you might want to ask your loved one's opinion, have them make a choice or get them to do something. In these situations, keep your options short and simple to understand. If you're walking your loved one through a process, tell them one step at a time. Giving them enough time to complete that step before you tell them what to do next can reduce frustration and increase success.
Presenting them with options instead of asking them what they want to do can also help. For instance, you might ask your loved one if they want to go for a walk before or after eating dinner. This is easier for them to decide than simply asking them what they want to do next.
As memory disorders progress, your loved one's memories will likely get foggy. They might remember things incorrectly or think they're in a different time. People with memory loss might confuse you with someone else. They could also say things that offend you or that you don't agree with. It's often better to just let those things go instead of correcting the person or arguing with them. You likely won't get anywhere, and the person could become agitated, frustrated or aggressive.
Communicating can be difficult and frustrating for someone with a memory disorder. Stay calm and help them feel comforted when this happens. Let them know that it's okay that they can't think of the words. You might encourage them to try or offer suggestions of what you think they might be trying to say.
If they continue to get frustrated, consider redirecting them. You might let them know that you can see they're feeling upset. Then suggest a different activity that could help calm them. Hugging the person might also help calm them, depending on their preferences and your relationship with them.
When there are other people in the room, invite the person with a memory disorder into the conversation. For instance, if several family members are in the room, don't talk about memories involving the person without including them. Ask them questions about the memory or let them share their perspective. Make sure others talk directly to the person as well.
Most people are used to using words to convey their messages. When someone has a memory disorder, they might respond better to other communication tools. You can use photos to remind the person of family members or reminisce on family memories. Nonverbal communication can also be easier for someone with memory loss. For instance, pointing to something they want to do, wear or eat might be easier than verbally answering your question. They might also be able to gesture to communicate their thoughts when the words aren't coming for them. You can also help them better understand by demonstrating what you're trying to say.
