Fortunately, not everyone with dementia struggles with recognizing familiar faces. However, if your loved one doesn't remember who you are, knowing how to maintain positive interactions can help you both enjoy meaningful time together.
As conditions causing memory loss progress, some older adults stop recognizing their loved ones. Forgetting familiar people is more common in seniors with Alzheimer's disease and relatively unusual in people with vascular dementia. Difficulties recognizing friends and family members can be deeply distressing for the affected person and those around them.
There are several reasons people with memory loss stop recognizing people they've known for a long time. Dementia can cause damage to areas of the brain involved in facial recognition. In some cases, a person with Alzheimer's or dementia may start reliving memories from the distant past. Therefore, they may have different reference points for recognizing loved ones. For example, a person reliving the time when they had young kids may fail to recognize their adult children.
However, recognition issues can sometimes have a reversible cause unrelated to a person's dementia, such as a urinary tract infection. Talk to your loved one's physician or the health care team at Bethesda Gardens Loveland if you notice a sudden deterioration in their ability to recognize you or if they seem very distressed or agitated. Their health care provider may recommend treatments to manage an underlying cause and improve their cognitive function.
Many friends and family members of people with memory loss feel profound sadness and grief when their loved one no longer recognizes them. These feelings are entirely understandable. However, knowing how to manage interactions when a person doesn't remember who you are can reduce stress for your loved one and make time together more enjoyable.
Some people seek reassurance from loved ones with dementia by asking questions like, "Do you know who I am?" However, these types of questions may cause confusion and agitation in those who struggle to recognize faces due to dementia.
Of course, there's no need to introduce yourself to your friend or family member if they're in the early stages of dementia and usually know who you are. However, if you know your loved one struggles, a simple introduction when you visit them in their memory care community can help you start interactions on the right foot. The Fisher Center for Alzheimer's Research Foundation recommends an introduction such as "Hi, I'm your daughter Jane" to support your loved one in determining who you are.
Research shows that family photos help people with dementia access memories. Ensuring your loved ones have access to pictures of their friends and family at different points in their relationships can help them orient themselves in a particular time period and recognize familiar people. Ideas for using photographs to support interactions include:
If your loved one becomes distressed, you could use the photos to spark conversations about happy events. Reminiscing about positive experiences can ease distress and improve quality of life in people with memory loss.
Correcting your loved one if they call you by the wrong name or make inaccurate statements can be tempting. However, these corrections can cause distress and draw the person's attention to their memory loss, leading to confusion and agitation.
Instead, consider using validation techniques to support your loved one when they don't recognize you. Validation for people with dementia involves respecting their feelings and thoughts during interactions. For example, instead of correcting your loved one when they mistake you for their late mother, you could try asking them questions about that person to spark reminiscence.
Acknowledging the grief, sadness and distress you feel when a loved one doesn't recognize you is essential. Your own mental and physical well-being matters, and prioritizing your emotional needs can help you support someone with memory loss more effectively.
Many people find it helpful to talk their feelings through with a trusted friend, religious leader or therapist. Speak to your doctor if you notice symptoms of anxiety, depression or another mental health problem, such as persistent mood changes, feeling excessively guilty or concentration problems. They may prescribe treatments to reduce your symptoms and recommend techniques to manage stress and anxiety.
Practicing self-care can also help you process the complicated feelings that often arise when someone you love develops dementia. Getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet and making time to do the things you enjoy can all help reduce stress and improve your mental and physical wellness.
